KEYS TO FREE YOURSELF FROM RESENTMENT
Change the dance steps. Many couples have a three-step dance, a cycle of conflict they keep repeating. It starts with frustration, escalates to fighting, and appears to restore harmony when they make up. Until the initial frustration is resolved, the peace won’t last for long. What frustration triggers keep going unresolved in your relationship? How can you change the dance at step one, before you fall into the old cycle? Decide on one thing to do differently the next time frustration brews. Then do it. Take note of how it went and celebrate any change. Take care of your own emotional business. Reflect on a message about love that you may have learned as a child and may be carrying into your relationships. For example, Marina was carrying the message that if you love someone, they leave. What did your childhood teach you about love? Fill in this sentence: If you love someone, __________. Would you like to be married to you? What qualities do you think create a comfortable and thriving relationship? Would you like to be married to someone such as you? What strengths do you bring to the table? Make a list. What behaviors might be challenging to live with? Make a list. Are you living in a way that brings out your best self?